Why is it that one of the world’s most advanced nations has such a giddy excitement for vanity license plates?

Over the past two centuries America has contributed greatly to the advancement of the modern world through such inventions as the cotton gin, the light bulb, the airplane, and hell, even the internet.  (Go Al Gore!)  We were the first nation to land on the moon and the first nation to develop nuclear weapons.  We are the land of the free and the home of the brave.  Yet we can’t help giggling like children over seven letter quips that are stamped into cold, hard aluminum, accented with reflective paint, and screwed onto the backs of cars.

What is it about vanity plates that is so intriguing?  So captivating?  Is there more to them than just what we see on the surface?  Sure.  Some people see them as a way to express themselves.  Some people use them as a way to judge others.  Some people are addicted to deciphering them.  Some people simply collect them.

But at the most fundamental level, vanity plates address a much deeper issue.  They are one of the few simple pleasures left in this world.  This makes them crucial to the sanity of today’s society.

I have come to a scary realization — simple is in danger of becoming extinct.  This may sound like a ridiculous statement, but think about it this way.  We live in a world obsessed with progression.  And more often than not, progression and innovation are accompanied by complication, which is the exact opposite of simplicity.  So, ipso facto, simple is on its way out the door.*

But this presents an interesting point and the crux of the argument for vanity license plates — increased complication drives a need for increased simplicity.  America needs vanity plates as a way to offset the increasingly complicated world in which we live.  Such simple pleasures offer us momentary escapes from reality, and without these we would just be one giant group of crazies.  In other words, sometimes it’s necessary to take a step back from the never ending to do list and think, “What does ‘HIHO AG’ mean?”

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