Below is my Top 5 Little-Seen Gems That I Think You Should Check Out Immediately (though to be fair, there are probably much more than 5, probably some better than these that I could have selected, but I’m on a time crunch and these were the earliest and best that came to mind.)  Some of these you may have heard of before. A few are pretty obscure rarities, others had full-blown wide releases. Regardless, I don’t think enough people have seen these films and I hope this helps to solve that problem. Behold the hyperbole:

Black Christmas
No, not that piece of shit that came out a couple of years ago. The 1974 original is one of the most terrifying, most disturbing, scariest films I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t finish it in one sitting. Scary. As. Shit. You never see the killer. You know he’s there. You can hear him. You see all of the kills from his POV. But you never see him and you never get his story. Brilliant. The remake destroyed everything that was so great about this one.

Your first words after watching: “Seriously, turn the lights back on. Please.”

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Written and directed by Shane Black (creator of Lethal Weapon), this movie is what every buddy-action/comedy should aspire to be. Almost perfect in every sense of the word. Val Kilmer proves why he is an unsung genius. Robert Downey, Jr. proves why he is an unsung god. The two of them in this movie easily rank among the all-time great on-screen odd couples.

Your first words after watching: “The only thing that would have made that any better is if Kilmer and RDJ docked at the end.”

A Very Long Engagement
Here’s the :30 Hollywood elevator pitch about this movie: It’s Saving Private Ryan meets Amelie meets Casablanca. Hands down, one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking films I’ve seen. Coming from the director of Amelie, and starring the almost-unbearably-adorable Audrey Tautou, this movie mixes a fantastic war film with a breathtaking love story. Boys and girls, if your eyes don’t at least water at this film, I’ll hunt you down and rip out your tear ducts because you clearly don’t deserve them.

Your first words after watching: “http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YD8HT4Hahw”

Six-String Samurai
Now we get wacky. Out of a possible 10 on the Zany scale, this one gets a 28. Set in a post-apocalyptic 1957, it follows Buddy on his quest to Lost Vegas so that he can replace Elvis and become the new King. I promise you, you’ve seen nothing like this film ever before. I’m not saying it will change your life, but if you don’t at least have a shload of fun watching it, there’s something wrong you.

Your first words after watching: “Hahaha what? Hahahahahaholy shit!”

Visitor Q
I could do a separate Top 5 just about the films of Takashi Miike that you need to see. The guy is fucked up! But this is by far his most insane accomplishment. Bad shit crazy doesn’t even begin to describe this thing. It features countless memorable moments like the middle-aged Japanese housewife standing nude and joyously flooding her kitchen with her own breast milk. And who could forget the father excitedly making love to the fresh corpse of his daughter while using her poo as lube? But, at the end of the day, it’s honestly a fascinating story of a family just trying to get by.

Your first words after watching: “…….” (You won’t say anything. You will silently stand up, walk to the bathroom, and take a rape shower.)

Browse Timeline

• « Top 5 elements necessary for the creation of childish artwork by a full grown male.
• » Top 5 Reasons To Look Forward To An Economic Depression

blog comments powered by Disqus