Posted on 12.28.08 to Colors by Ben Cheney

Bright bacon and hot colors.

It all started with green ketchup.

I was 15 years old at the time, and totally out of my mind.  Up was down, left was right, green was red, and right was wrong, especially when it came to the color of my food.

So, to make things seem right, I started dyeing my food.  I dyed my milk yellow.  My orange juice blue.  My pancakes red.  My eggs green.  Any food that could be dyed took on a color that was not it’s own.  It was beautiful.

I became obsessed.  Obsessed with colored foods.  Convinced that the color of the food enhanced the taste of the food, I decided that when I grow up I will open my own restaurant where you’ll be able to order anything on the menu in any color.  All you have to do is think up a color and describe it to the Culinary Colorist.  The Colorist will then translate this abstract description and dazzle you with the colors’ manifestation in your chosen food.

Since the patron is in charge of thinking up the colors of their food, creativity will be an essential element.  As we all know, food is only as delicious as it’s color.  A burger the color of the sky 15 minutes before sunset is going to taste very different from a burger the color of your grandmother’s crushed velvet sofa.

This will be a place where imagination is served to you on a porcelain platter.  A place where the rainbow is endless.

Creativity will bleed from the walls.  Color will ooze out of thin air.

It will be fun and exciting and epic and mind blowing.

But most importantly, it will be colorful.  And it will seem right.

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This is the best idea I have heard for a restaurant, ever. I love you.

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Colleen added these pithy words on Feb 16 09 at 6:17 pm

I once met a man who adamantly claimed he never ate white food. I asked, “Nothing, nothing that is white?” He told me again, “I never eat any food that is white.” It made me think about all of the foods that are white, and I wasn’t sure he was actually missing anything beneficial…or perhaps I should say, essential. So here are the foods I thought of, maybe you have more:

Milk
flour
sugar
potatoes
rice
pasta
cheese, minus the food coloring, most of it is white
marshmallows
mayo
salt (ok, this one might be an essential)

and then there are all those supposed white meats
and tofu

white wine? not really white…more of a pale green, so it stays.

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comment added these pithy words on Mar 01 09 at 8:24 pm

Ask Camire about Christmas and the dyed red potatoes.

I still get shit for that one.

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LongLostCousin added these pithy words on May 07 09 at 4:08 pm

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