How to make a business card if you have no money.
Some people may disagree about the existence of God or the benefits of red wine, but there is one thing I think we can all agree on — we are in an economic recession.
Fewer and fewer people are spending. More and more companies are reporting decreases in profit. Unemployment rates and homelessness are soaring. It’s a nasty train of events and it’s only getting worse. Even though over 50% of Americans believe that President Obama will be able to bring us out of this financial trough, there is still a very urgent need for employment in America.
And one of the first steps to marketing yourself for a job is getting business cards. If done right, a business card can be a powerful tool that keeps you on the mind of an interviewer long after your sweaty armpits and shaky knees have left their office.
The problem is, some people can’t afford proper business cards, which minimizes their chances of getting a job and a roof back over their head. So, I have taken it upon myself to create a “how to” for making business cards for no money.
How to make a business card if you have no money.
1. Gather various materials from a trash can in an alley or the side of the street. Pick materials for your stationary that fit your personality, such as an interesting pattern if you are crazy or a solid background if you are boring.
2. Use an old, rusty razor blade to cut your pizza box top or french fry container down to about 2×3 inches.
3. Write your name and address with an old marker, pen, or syringe. If you don’t have an address, write the address of the place you hang out most, such as a park or the curb outside an office building.
Or if, in Pocket’s case, you hang out in the alley between 406 and 408, write 407.
4. If using stationary without a pattern, think about decorating your business card with a seal. You can make a seal by pressing a beer cap into the corner of your business card and writing your initial in the middle.
5. Now that you have finished your business card, it’s time to think about delivery. Handing it to your interviewer on the way out the door is one way to do it. But let’s be honest, this is not the most impressive business card. Think about leaving it on their desk with a delicious orange that you found in the dumpster behind a supermarket.
Or a succulent lime.
Or a doggy.
Even though you didn’t pay $15 for a box of business cards at Office Depot, creating your own business card shows creativity and resourcefulness, two great qualities in a job candidate. So good luck! And go get ‘em!
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