Because the regular kind is for the normal, the conventional, and the weak.

To be given to an attractive woman whom you have unclean feelings for:

To be given to a waiter/tress who you’ve just screwed:

To be given to a person who has what you want out of life:

To be given to any individual who has crossed, disrespected or hurt you:

To be given to an attractive female at the gym whom you secretly stalk:

To be given to a panhandler on the street:

To be put on the windshield of one’s car when parking illegally:

To be given to a street/subway performer

To be given to your boss:

To be given to the manager of anyplace you go to the bathroom in that has a “restroom for customers only” sign:

To be given to anyone who treads on your rights and/or pisses you off for any reason whatsoever:

To be placed in one of those restaurant “win a free meal” bowls:

If anybody’s got any of their own, Blommit would love to see them. Post away.

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