Posted on 02.06.09 to Body Odor by Tristan Smith

Against time travel

Me-Yow

Me-Yow

Sex, by its very nature, is a lot awesome and a little disgusting.

This is your mind filling in why.

Done.

So, now that we’re in agreement, do the unpleasant and imagine what sex was like for the first thousand thousand years of human existence.  It’s only recently that human have banished their own stenches with a variety of soaps, perfumed, shampoos, ablutions and paper products.  This means that as recently as a hundred years ago, all the sex in the world was the modern equivalent of homeless sex.  Your ancestors, in order to conceive your more recent ancestors, were having straight up filthy, under-the-shrubbery-in-the-park, behind-the-church-dumpster sex.

People in the 15th century took a bath around once a year.  Yes, they didn’t know any different, so the humping was just fine and sustained them carnally.  But most people of recent generations won’t even fuck on a camping trip. Before soap and washing, it was just one long camping trip.  Greasy, smokey, hairy camping.  Forever.

And therein lies the rub.

The greasy, smokey, hairy rub: if you were to travel back in time, how long do you think your gag reflex would prevent you from pressing yourself against one of those ancients?  Could you get over it?  And in that fateful moment, when your lust mutes your senses, will it be the worst sex of your life?

Or the best?

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  • scar
    Oops lemme answer the questions:
    1. I would gag until something comes out.
    2. NO. I could never get over it.
    3. lust mutes your senses? are you kidding? that could never happen, not even for the hottest guy-gag to sweaty smelly balls.
  • scar
    If we were to put modern men and women in a time machine and ship them back to the 15th century, the men would probably be less disgusted with the hygiene issue, at least for the first month. Eventually the stench of stale ass (oh you mean we had sexual intercourse everyday for a month and you have not washed? oh you want oral?!?h and you pooped also?) and feet long bushes would eventually be a turn off and take its toll and there'd be some retching. Props to our ancestors.
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