Posted on 03.19.09 to Motels by Charles Hodges

America’s Silent Partner

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if we didn’t have motels, we wouldn’t have running water,
because running water depends on a government funded utilities department
and utilities departments are large, slowly run bureaucracies
and bureaucracies are run by overweight white men who have
low morals and sweat too much
and most of these men married their wives when they were much younger because they thought it would help their image in climbing the
ladder of the bureaucracy.
but slowly, like moss growing on a boulder,
their wives became unattractive to them,
and they lost interest, and wanted to have an affair, so
they went to country club,
but since they are overweight white men that sweat too much, they couldn’t
find anyone who wanted to have a proper affair.
now,
they could go back to the utilities company and take their frustration out on their secretary who would then take their frustration out on a dispatch person who would then take their frustration out on an operator who would then take their frustration out on the dials that control the water supply
and the water would stop running.
but that doesn’t happen.
no.
our white, overweight leader of the water utility bureaucracy doesn’t get frustrated because he can’t have a proper affair with someone else’s wife at the country club.
no.
do You know what he does?
he tells his wife he is going to get a frosty from wendy’s,
but then,
he doesn’t go to wendy’s.
he goes to hardee’s
near the airport,
but not for a thickburger,
no.
he goes there because
that’s where the cheap hookers are.
he can’t go to the stoplight by morton’s steakhouse because that’s where
the high-class hookers go.
he can’t do that,
because people will see him.
and even though he’s the leader of the water utilities department
it doesn’t net him enough money to get one of the hookers from
the stoplight outside morton’s.
no
he has to go to hardee’s at the airport.
he picks her up.
she gets in.
they go to a motel.
and he gets whatever someone gets from a hooker from hardee’s near the airport.
and
he doesn’t
go back to the utilities company and take his frustration out on the secretary who would then take her frustration out on a dispatch person who would then take his frustration out on an operator who would then take his frustration out on the dials that control the water supply.
no,
he goes to the motel.
so You can take a bath.
so You can water your plants.
so You can drink a nice, clean, cool glass from the sink in your kitchen.
and a thousand other things run just as smooth,
because of the secrets of the motel.
the motel
sitting out there,
in the dark,
waiting
for You