IN WHICH THE HERO DOES NOT LEARN HOW TO TIE A ROLLING HITCH KNOT OR TAKE OFF A BRA
The summer camp column in my life ledger is sparsely filled out. Rather than attend some well-supervised, well-organized sailing camp that would have taught me useful things about girls and knots, I opted to do a bit of an independent study during my adolescent summers. That is, I co-wrote, directed and acted in a series of films.
The fields and forests around my house were sets.
Goodwill supplied costumes.
My friends and I were the actors.
Parents were a cheerful audience.
So, without going in to it too deeply, the synopses that explain why I didn’t go to many summer camps. Please note that I am in no way boasting. I don’t think this makes me cool. On the contrary, I would kill to go to sailing camp now. My parents would have sent me anywhere. I refused. Horrible.
If anyone requests, I’ll upload clips. Otherwise, just imagine.
Delusion – 1995
Depressed and alone, a young man volunteers for a series of brain experiments, a choice that transports him (or does it?) into an alien world where threatened by a dictator’s tyranny.
Toto – 1996
Residents of a small Kansas town search for a murderer among an even smaller group of recent arrivals.
Of Midgets and Men – 1997
Tormented by a stressful career, a young man takes a week to recuperate at a country inn. The inn is inhabited by tiny blue humanoids that eventually murder the inn owner and get the man sent to an insane asylum.
Booney Road – 1998
To escape abusive parents, three Appalachian boys set out on Booney Road, hiking North towards hopes for a better life.
The Third Degree – 1999
A story of millionaire blackmail is recounted via separate interrogations.
Mad Cell – 2000
A mysterious cellphone that arrives with the morning paper entangles a young man in a chain of criminal events.
Red Wolf – 2001
In a dystopian future, youth gangs conduct open warfare over who controls an ancient power.
Freeing Luke Dawson – 2002
A young man begins a surreal journey after attending the funeral of an infant with his same name.
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Ben Cheney
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