Great moments in history have only been recorded for auditory posterity for the past hundred years or so. This means that while we’ve captured a few beauties (“The only thing we have to fear is asking not what your country can do for you, but what you can do so that someone can someone can cry “Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall”) we’ve missed out on some really good stuff, too.
It also means we only know that recent good ones actually sounded good. Just as I sometimes fear that I might have a weird way of pronouncing my ‘s’ sounds that no one is telling me about because they feel bad, I sometimes fear that great moments in world history were actually lisped.
It’s possible that the Gettysburg Address came out “Four Sthcore and Stheven Yearths ago…” And while the words themselves are just as imperial, the pronunciation kind of ruins the Glory movie moment that I like to envision when I’m doing some deep Lincoln thinkin.
I worry about Caeser. “Et tu Brutusth” is just awkward and weak, and looks uncomfortably like toothbrush.
Most of all, though, I worry about JC, the blue-eyed white skinned zombie prophet himself. Remember when he said “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone”? With a lisp, that kind of sounds like “Let him who is without sthin”, which would have meant fat guys could become the arbiters of society.
Maybe that could be OK. I mean, most fat dudes are pretty fun, so they’d probably keep it real.
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casey
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