Posted on 05.05.09 to Victims by Jake Dubs

Everyone Is One of Something

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Pronunciation: \ˈvik-təm\
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin victima; perhaps akin to Old High German wīh holy
Date:15th century
Definition: One that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent
Synonyms: Sufferer, injured party, casualty; fatality, loss; loser

Young black males are victims of a vicious cycle
Women are victims of an archaic pay scale
Gay people are victims of bigotry
Palestinians are victims of misunderstanding
Israelis are victims of misunderstanding
Bill Clinton is a victim of his dick
Hillary Clinton is a victim of her confidence
Fundamentalists are victims of narrow-mindedness
Paris Hilton is a victim of a too-privileged upbringing
The financial world is a victim of a flawed economic system
Barack Obama is a victim of unreasonable expectations
A-Rod is a victim of unreasonable expectations
Teenage girls are victims of unreasonable expectations
Lotto winners are victims of luck
Jews are victims of ignorance
Musicians are victims to the internet
Michael Vick is a victim of a lack of stimulation
Liberals are victims of conservatives
Conservatives are victims of liberals
Designers are victims of progress
Britney Spears is a victim of flashbulbs
The public is victims to the decisions of their governments
NPR is a victim to listeners who don’t donate
My roommate’s dog is a victim of not being able to pee when he wants
Creators are victims of subjectivity
The pork industry is a victim of the H1N1 virus
Forward-thinkers are victims of backward-thinkers
New Yorkers in the summertime are victims of New York Summers
Coldplay is a victim of one derisive line in The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Michael Phelps is a victim of being 24 and liking weed
US Soldiers are victims of a nation’s narcissism
The young are victims of no money yet
The old are victims of no more youth
Terrorists are victims of blind hatred
The New York Times is a victim of a new generation
Whales are victims of giant Japanese boats
Gary Cole is a victim of typecasting
The future generations are victims of the generations before them
I am a victim of my own inadequacy
The working man/woman is a victim of the grind
Consumers are victims of superfluous choice
Workers are victims of the clock
Human beings are victims of humanity