Posted on 05.07.09 to Victims by Sarah Pappalardo

Look At The Happy Victims

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I embrace all cultures. I take pains to understand the people

in Section 8 housing down the street, to play with the street urchins outside of my apartment, and smile to the immigrants inside my building sometimes.

I understand these people because I am a lot like them. As a woman, I have been through countless struggles to be who I am today. Shaving, wearing heels and bleeding out of my vagina have helped me understand how those people outside my window struggle, and we are all part of a rich heritage that everyone is socially obligated to appreciate.

This is the Victim Culture.

As one of the largest and most vibrant cultures in Western society, their customs and cultural traditions reach back almost 300 years. And unlike any culture on the planet, they are almost infinitely inclusive. Victims come in all shapes, colors, sizes, and abilities. You may not be able to identify a Victim upon first meeting them, because some Victims wear their pride on the inside.

Some Victims may not even know they’re Victims, so it’s best that you alert them if you have any suspicions.

Most Victims celebrate their identities through food, dance, and fundraising for niche causes. Being a Victim isn’t just a status symbol, it’s a responsibility: many Victims give back to their community by supporting a cause, like “The War Against Cancer,” or “Blacks Against Gay Marriage.” Obviously, there is some tension within this diverse Victim Culture, but there wouldn’t be any Victims if there were no oppressors! That would be sad.

You may have noticed several celebrity Victims, as liberal society is now allowing them into popular media outlets. Lately, Celebrity itself has increased the Victim population by thousands. Some celeb Victims include: