I wasn’t so sure what it was, so I asked some people:
What is swine flu?
Here are the responses:
Health official: Swine flu is a potential threat to the well being of humanity. Please use extreme caution.
Fox News: Swine flu is a potential threat to the well being of humanity. Please use extreme caution. Obama is responsible.
CNN: Swine flu is a potential threat to the well being of humanity. Please use extreme caution. Obama will save us.
Local News: There was a possible swine flu case at a local day care early this afternoon. Later, it was confirmed that the child had simply shit her pants.
Obama: It is a priority of the United States of America.
The President of Mexico: Obama!
My dad: It’s sounds kinda fucked up. Make sure you wash your hands.
A homeless man: Man, I had Swine Flu when I was twelve. My mom still made me go to school. Pussies.
A random 11-year-old I overheard on the bus: It’s like strepthroat, except it feels like there is a pig inside of you. You get it from eating too much bacon.
Kindergarten teacher: It’s when a really big piggy gets a really big coughy and then entire human race goes extincty.
Two drunk guys in a bar:
Guy 1 – It’s like SARS mixed with the bird flu and then injected into a pig. Guy 2 – Oh ok, now I understand.
Screenwriter explaining it to a producer in an elevator: It’s like Babe meets Outbreak.
Wikipedia: Swine Flu was the back-up drummer for Duran Duran in the late 1980s. It was the author of the novel Great Expectations, and is the only other person, besides Whoopi Goldberg and Jesus, to enter the world via virgin birth.
The future: It’s small potatoes.
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