When looked at through the prism of “that’s what she said,” the world gives off quite a different meaning. Yes, if you are like me, then that fourteen-year-old inside of you has never died, and you constantly find yourself silently finishing other people’s sentences as they unconsciously throw you statements that act as verbal softballs to your never-ending, back-of-the-bus-on-a-field-trip imagination.
But what if you can’t turn it off?
This is my curse.
But it doesn’t stop with people. No, that’d be great. It’d be great if it stopped when the waitress said, “It’s pretty big, but I have eaten two of them before.”
That’d be fine, but it’s not.
I see it everywhere. And now, I see it in the world of business.
It’s as if the entire world of commerce is one big set up for the always humorous follow-up. It has been going on for years. How have we not seen it before?
I will allow you to fill in the blank after each statement.
Nike: Just do it.
Cheez-It: Get your own box.
McDonald’s: I’m lovin’ it.
Alka-Seltzer: I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.
Capital One: What’s in your wallet? (she’s at the bar)
Chrysler: Inspiration comes standard.
Fisher-Price: Play. Laugh. Grow.
Hey? How about a nice Hawaiian Punch? (she’s a dominatrix)
Hewlett Packard: Invent. (she’s bored)
Hostess Cakes: Where’s the cream filling? (I’m not making these up)
Pepsi: Come alive! You’re in the Pepsi generation.
Timex: Takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
Verizon: Can you hear me now? Good! (she’s adventurous)
Volkswagen: Think small. (she’s having lunch with her friends)
Yellow pages: Let your fingers do the walking.
And lastly
Obama: Yes we can.
Will it stop? I can only hope that this article will be my final catharsis.
So there, I release you, this has been way too long and way too hard.
That’s what she said.
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