You’ve heard the joke a million times.  It’s cheap. It’s easy. It’s exactly like the woman it was coined after.  The reason you’ve heard it so many times, in such a variety of contexts, is because She actually said it.  All of them.  Everyone you’ve ever heard.  Yes, She did ask if “the mushrooms got bigger this year?” And she meant it in the sexually charged way you thought was merely a double entendre.  And then she ate them.

She meant it for real.

You are probably wondering, “how could she have possibly said all those things?”  Because She’s been around a while.  She’s seen some things.  She’s met some people. She’s worked in Tijuana.  She’s partied in Prague. She’s been asked never to return to either place.

She’s one of those types of people everyone talks about… Until they meet her.  No one ever talks about her after that.  They’d be too embarrassed to tell the story.  Afraid someone would find out what they did that night with the marmot, the super glue and the collectors edition of Clue.

That’s what she does, she brings out the best… And the worst in people.  At the same time.  While making a collect call.  To someone She’s never met before.  Just to get them to accept the charges.  Then act like a telemarketer. Because it’s funny.  She’s like that.

She is Helen MacEroy.  An unassuming name, for an otherwise unassuming woman.  You’d never expect that the wholesome old woman at the grocery store would be “The She” that everyone talks about.  But then what did you think all that produce was for?  Salad?  Well there will be tossing, but with syrup or jelly!

So just be glad, next time you crack that joke.  The easy one that gets a chuckle from your friends.  That Helen MacEroy really did say it.  Be glad you weren’t there to hear it first hand.  And be thankful she didn’t say it about you.

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