Posted on 06.17.09 to Elbows by Jake Dubs

Throw ‘Em

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In the game of basketball, “throwing elbows” is an illegal move players do to send an antipathetic message to opposing players. Urban Dictionary defines it as “popping someone in the face with your high slung elbow in order to cause serious disruption to some punks (sic) face, ie: ‘some ho came up to me and she was all like ‘ahhhh’ and i was all like ‘no way’, then that crazy bitch started throwing elbows.’”

Here is a list of 40 people, whom—in the game of life—I’d like to throw a ‘bow into.

In no particularly hateful order:

Ann Coulter
George W. Bush
Osama Bin Laden
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
Audrina Patridge
Carson Daly
Lindsay Lohan
Bill O’Reilly
Michael Vick
Paris Hilton
Barry Bonds
Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag
Al Sharpton
LFO (for the song “Summer Girls”)
Bernie Madoff
R. Kelly
Lauren Conrad
The entire cast of Real World: Brooklyn
Bill Belichick
Lleyton Hewitt
The writers of the movie Hancock
A-Rod
Manny Ramirez
Every guy who’s ever been on The Bachelorette
Karl Rove
Mel Gibson
Adam “Pacman” Jones
The proprietor of the Subway in Mt. Kisco, NY
Phil Mickelson
Ty Pennington
A.J. Pierzynski
Dick Cheney
Kim Jong Il
Rush Limbaugh
Terrel Owens
The Sham Wow guy
Alex Trebek
Tiger Woods
Pat Robertson
Absolutely anyone associated with the show My Super Sweet Sixteen