Whoever the photographer is that suggested this shot of the Bush administration family photo is brilliant…and probably floating in the Anacostia River courtesy of the Secret Service.

Is this the sign of a President who is just that ignorant to what is “hep” in the way of gestures nowadays? Or is this administration-wide gesture of two-in-the-pink-one-in-the-stink a sign of a President who just doesn’t give a rat’s ass about what  he looks like? Depending on your political affiliation, one might lean toward the latter-most question. However, I choose to theorize the background and context of this photo in a moderate, if not altogether non-political, viewpoint.

The most logical explanation is that the photographer told everyone to make a “W” to gesture that differs from the already popular middle finger over ring finger “Westside” symbolism as well as the two thumbs touching one another at the tips with index fingers extended to truly show the “whateverrrrr” attitude of the 90’s. Subsequently, some wise-ass figured he or she could get away with suggesting the shocker depicted in the Bush administration family photo. But who would do such a thing? Who would set up the leader of the free world for such a blooper as this? My theory is it’s the fat guy with an ill-fitting and non-matching suit in the far right corner. The fact that he looks like a shady car salesman who just ate a shady cell phone salesman is a major tip-off. To make matters worse for this living embodiment of the brown sound, his right hand isn’t visible as it is likely in his pocket texting something similar to: “OMG, making bush n staff do the shocker. Ttly doing it now. Holy shit, just got away with it. Internship ttly worth it.”

We could close the case at that, but then what kind of article would this be? Likely a far shittier one than if I kept writing. This is the new age grassy knoll, and we’re getting to the bottom of this even if I have to kill more of your time reading this while you’re at work processing documents or documenting processes. Suspect number two is the rather rotund black girl standing to Bush’s right. That’s right, this woman could be the proverbial ground zero. After all, she’s trusted enough to stand right next to the President himself, why wouldn’t a photographer take her suggestion to heart? Not to mention that grin is a dead giveaway. Apparently this little trick of hers was the perfect kickoff to Gigglefest 2009 (which actually doesn’t sound like too bad a gathering) and she just couldn’t wait to burst.

Perhaps it wasn’t just one person. Maybe it was a photographic coup to make this nation’s 43rd President look a fool, a nearly impossible task. One has to wonder where Secret Service was on this one. Not only should this enforcement and protection agency safeguard the President’s bodily well-being from bullets, knives, pretzels, and the like, but keep the President from making social faux-pas such as this. However, it very well may be that Secret Service may be in on this coup as well. There’s no telling how deep this may run. Such a devious practice could bring down the esteem we hold in our political system. And if anyone unearths that infamous yet unseen picture of Millard Fillmore spreading his index and middle fingers and sticking his tongue between them, we just may give up on government altogether.

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