We don’t like your writing skills, internet users.
Unfortunately the advent of the internet seems to have aided in the bastardization of the English language and we’d like to point out to you a handful of the common mistakes, unneeded abbreviations and internet slang that we find troubling.
First of all ‘lolz’ simply has to go away. Not only is this stupid, it is also offensive to look at. Any word with a ‘z’ at the end in place of an ‘s’ is pretty much guaranteed to be an abomination. The following is a real comment we found on a video we made and we think it serves as a wonderful example: “dis iz funny az hell,” and I hope that is exactly what they inscribe on that dude’s headstone after he falls into an open manhole and dies.
This brings up our next point of contention: the unneeded and aggressively overused acronyms. For example, ‘Lmfao’, which is an acronym of the phrase “laughing my f___ing ass off.” This would be an annoying statement even without the abbreviation. Another version of this is ‘rofl’ and it is equally lame in both its sentiment as well as its aesthetic qualities. Read it out loud phonetically. It sounds like the noise one makes just before vomiting. How very fitting.
Apparently in an effort to save much needed time, people have found it more convenient to simply type one character in place of an entire word, provided that letter sounds like the word when spoken. The most common use of this boorish tactic involves the letter ‘u’ as a stand in for the word ‘you.’ We’ve culled another example from yet another comment on the aforementioned video: “Wut a fag??? bet if u where there u wouldent have said shit bitch.” That idiot is all over the map of illiteracy and unculturedness (Yes, we made up that word).
In addition to this is the use of ‘ur’ in place of ‘you’re’ or ‘your’ (a distinction we’re sure doesn’t cross their minds when using this sad stand-in for a word) in emails or text messages. These two sneaky little bastards seem to have magically appeared not too long ago, and now, we feel have worn out their welcome. It’s next to impossible to be apathetic when we see either of these internet idiosyncrasies, as we have a suspicion that most of the people who use these two moronic literary devices cannot discern the proper English word from their slang derivative. Sadly, for some, it is quite simple to realize that there is no hope, and the variants are used out of necessity, as in “fuk u ur a bitch fag LOLOLOLOLOLOL.” What’s upsetting about this is how it’s actually becoming par for the course, if I may borrow a golf term and apply it to a subject unrelated to that sport. This leads us to assume that the rest of them use them to either save time, which it does not, or to appear chic to the internet community* at large, which it also does not.
The list goes on and on and would eventually dovetail into a never-ending critique of the decline of the English language, our nation’s failing education, the negative impact of modern media, and so on and so forth. Suffice it to say that we are more than just annoyed by this recent development; we are legitimately frightened at what the future holds for mankind, and all we have to say is WTF?
Thank you for your time. – Ben and Ryan
*Should we be calling this a community? I mean really?
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