I must apologize in advance if we ever experience the unfortunate existence of a run-in. I should clarify, however, that it would not necessarily be unfortunate for me to have a run-in with you, unless, of course, you are a naturally nasty person or are having a particularly bad day. No, it would most certainly be unfortunate for you. I’m probably one of the most awkward people you will ever meet. Honestly, I do not try to be awkward. Most of the time I try to be the opposite of awkward. I try to act warm and conversational and cheery. But it doesn’t work. I am, apparently, unable to understand how to be anything but awkward. For example, I may be asked a simple question in what is supposed to be the middle of a totally normal conversation. “What’s in that bag?” Most people, understanding how to conversate or realizing the expected length of the conversation (maybe you are walking on the street with four minutes to go to reach your destination or you are in the waiting room of a doctor’s office with no end to the waiting in sight) would reply, “Oh, it’s just my handball gear. I play every Tuesday and Thursday at the YMCA. I play for the yellow team. Do you play handball?” I, on the other hand, would most likely reply, “Gear.” This effectively ends whatever semblance of a conversation we were having immediately. Silence ensues. And for the rest of our four minute journey to the bus stop or the homeless shelter or the voting precinct, we will both experience an unbearable mountain of awkward silence. It is for this that I am sorry.
Browse Timeline
-
alex
Loading ...
