Man wearing a black beanie cap that reads “SPORTS”: Lady, I feel weird.
Lady, seemingly a stranger: Oh, I’m sorry.
Man wearing a black beanie cap that reads “SPORTS”: No, I feel weird. Like cake being squeezed through a Play-Doh Fun Factory. I’m Play-Doh spaghetti made out of cake.
Lady, seemingly alarmed: Oh my.
Man wearing a black beanie cap that reads “SPORTS”: See, I took this weird looking candy from a lady that looked like the human incarnation of terror at 134th St and 7th Ave. I didn’t know her, but she said they were candy corn in celebration of the Pilgrims coming to New York City five years ago. I love the Pilgrims, but I’ve never had candy corn that makes me feel like I’m in a flying saucer.
Lady, seemingly intrigued: Sir, you are on the Subway, not in a flying saucer. But do you have any more of those candy corns?
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