Documentaries
//
Puck, Tila, Flavor Flav
By
Kyle Wai Lin .
12.14.08 //
Documentaries
// Puck, Tila, Flavor Flav
By
Kyle Wai Lin .
12.14.08 //
Documentaries
I submit that reality television is the documentary of our time… the difference being a lot less ken burns and a bit more Dr. 90210.
The other day I read an article in the New York Times about some psychologist in Podunk, Sasafras who noticed a trend of more and more cases of patients coming in with paranoia about how they felt their lives were being taped/broadcasted on some Truman Show-like mass scale. Many spoke of how they felt that everyone was in on it and it was ruining their lives. The doctor shared his findings among his network of colleagues only to find that his patients were not unique and there were cases like this popping up all over the country.
Fascinating.
Now, I’d be lying if I claimed similar thoughts never crossed my mind, but to the extent of needing psychological help for it is far from where my strange but level head was.
However, I leave you with this… When I do watch reality TV (and yes, I do and you do too), I wind up comparing my life to the lives of others and for this, I may need psychological help.
//
Worst Documentary Titles
By
Jordan Childs .
12.12.08 //
Documentaries
// Worst Documentary Titles
By
Jordan Childs .
12.12.08 //
Documentaries
Philip: A boy and his fork
Stoned: The questionable history of gravel
Tiny Dancer: How one man tamed a shrew
Afghans: The Quilts of killers
The Blue Plate Special: Romance in the Rest Home
Narcissistic Tendencies: The making of Jeremy Piven’s Journey of a lifetime
CSPAN- Behind the Scenes
CSPAN- The Making of Behind The Scenes
Stand Up- The history of hair spray
Above the Shin- A look into the history of socks
Underworld- What’s three inches beneath our feet
What’s really in water?
Looped- How knots shaped our world
Pulpit- Making the great Sermon
Sheared- Sheep have feelings too
Stand up and fight: The story of Hillary’s Hair
The Sleepy Senator- A retrospective of John McCain’s time in Government
Night Cam- The Exciting World of Sleep Observation
See Line B- The history of tax forms
Attached: How we use scotch tape
Icing: The history of cake decorating
Yards: Why we love carpet
Blow: The Wonderful World of Tubas
Couch: The life of Ben Affleck
//
The Watched
By
Tristan Smith .
12.12.08 //
Documentaries
// The Watched
By
Tristan Smith .
12.12.08 //
Documentaries
Normal is relative.
Without a doubt, the most impressive element in any documentary is in the mental conditioning of the subjects. Consider this: for months, often years, people are followed around by a group of men with machines and coaxial. Loud, smelly, 30ish men in shorts and t-shirts and vests visit them every single day and stand near them as they eat breakfast.
And yet people act normal. Utterly candid, true, real moments play out on film time after time. The immense powers of the human brain permit permanent interruption to become nothing more than background. We can normalize to almost anything, even being shot with a high resolution telephoto lens and recorded with a microphone that looks like a graphite banana.
Herein lies the spectacularity of the documentary: it records people not only going through extraordinary circumstances, but it records people under the duress that comes with being recorded.
Consider yourself. How would you manage these strains? Would you soar to fame as a result of your compelling lifestyle? I don’t have an answer to this. I just know that those doing it (and some are doing it better than others) are impressive on a psycho-physiological level.
It begs the question: are we normalizing things without realizing it?
Thinking about making a documentary? At the very least, here is what you will need:
An opening sequence that involves a car
This is an impeccable formula. It helps if the car is moving.
Experts that no one has ever heard of
No matter how well known your subject matter is, we won’t accept your documentary as truthful and thorough if you don’t have people we have never heard of talking about it. Make sure their name comes up in white right underneath their face and get them to tell a story that they think is funny, even if we don’t. After all, if they are laughing, then they had to be there. Right?
A scene in a restaurant
It’s always important to show just how flattered and uncomfortable a camera can make the waitress of a diner feel. Pick one that allows smoking.
Famous people being normal
It’s not a documentary if the subject doesn’t eat a Dairy Queen blizzard, play basketball or receive a call from their parents. If you are making a documentary and it’s not about famous people, you still have to show it. If they are bus drivers, show them watching Jeopardy. While this won’t have the normalizing effect that it does with famous people, it will show us your subject is just as pathetic as we are.
A shot of rain falling outside of a window
You should try to place this about 65% of the way through the film. Play some deep cut Nick Drake over it and show a montage of family life. Really good if you are shooting in black and white. Even better if there is some theme of unemployment.
A scene that starts with a phone call
It doesn’t matter what they are talking about. Just make they are upset about something, out of focus and act like they don’t know you are there.
A time lapse that involves a lot of people moving
Most documentaries have either a concert, speech or some other kind of massive gathering. Film this. All you have to do is set up a camera.
A making of the documentary that is two times longer than the actual documentary
After all, you are in this for YOU to become famous. Make sure you have at least three stories of how you almost died during the filming of the piece. Mention in your interview how you could “retire from this industry” because you don’t know how you would ever top it. After talking about yourself for 45 minutes, make sure you give credit to the subjects of your documentary by claiming that you “just happened to be there”. If you are a male director, make sure you have a beard, a hat and worn down coffee mug. If you are female director, make sure you talk about how there aren’t enough of you out there.
Simple, loaded questions that can be re-edited to fit the overall theme of the documentary so the particular worldview that you want to project onto society comes gleaming through
Let’s say you are going to do a documentary about teachers. Let’s say you are interviewing a teacher at home and you notice that he gives his family milk for dinner. Ask him why. He will reply, “because it is good”. If you set out to prove the merits of teaching you now have the closing shot of your film. This miniscule detail will serve not as looked over character trait, but as a microcosm for the entire world of pedagogy. Even though you filmed that in the very beginning, it can now close your film in a perfect cyclical manner. You will be perceived as an genius. You will eventually believe that perception. You will believe you have done something great. Teachers are good. You are great. Film school was worth it. Roll the credits.
//
Humanity by proxy
By
Joey Camire .
12.10.08 //
Documentaries
// Humanity by proxy
By
Joey Camire .
12.10.08 //
Documentaries
Every documentary I’ve ever seen, or wanted to see, has been about some of the world’s strangest people. The most oddly gifted, persecuted, or hated outliers that society has to offer. People who, by most standards, you would feel averse to interacting with… And yet, documentary films have grown widely in popularity. In some cases, such as Michael Moore’s, they have even entered mainstream culture.
The truth is, if ever given the opportunity, most of us would never want to spend time with the people who we find so fascinating in these films. What would we have to say to them? How do you relate to someone who spends 6 hours a day studying the dictionary? Or another who’s views on the world are almost the complete polar opposite of yours? You can’t. But that is the beauty of the documentary, we don’t have to interact with these people. Someone else has done the leg work for us. You don’t have to endure that painfully long silence, or the 20 minute discussion on silent letters, they all get lost on the cutting room floor.
The documentary allows us to interact with these people by proxy through the film maker. They are helping us to understand these people, who in many cases can’t find anyone in their own lives to appreciate them. They are creating this sort of voyeuristic love for humanity. We love all these weirdos and crazies, and won’t talk as bad about them any more, as long as we don’t have to interact with them ourselves.
Documentaries, more than anything else, are delivering us an appreciation for humanity… by proxy.
Here are a few of my favorite examples of successful documentaries made about some seriously out there people that might help make more sense of what I am trying to say.
Spell Bound- This is an amazing documentary following several children in the months leading up to the 1999 national spelling bee. These are the kids that got their lunch money stolen everyday. They are the type of kids that annoy you no matter how hard you try to be nice to them. They were the ones who were already stressing about college in 7th grade. Yet you are absolutely engrossed by the fact that, as eccentric as they are, they are regular people who have parents way crazier than yours.
Jesus Camp- An absolutely terrifying documentary about a camp where children are taught to be evangelical zealots. A film that sheds light and helps you understand how some people never ever have a choice in figuring things out for themselves. I still can’t relate to these people, but I can at least understand. Here is a trailer to the film. Honestly, not for the faint of heart.
The Devil and Daniel Johnston- Daniel Johnston is one of the most tormented souls you will find. He is a man who has quietly had a major influence on some of the the most influential bands of our generations. People like Beck, Kurt Kobain, and bands like Sonic Youth to name a few. He is in many ways the modern equivalent to Van Gogh, both in his torment and his prolific production of art. Shows you that not all blessings come without a curse.
//
6 Documentaries that Never Were But Could Be
By
Jake Dubs .
12.09.08 //
Documentaries
// 6 Documentaries that Never Were But Could Be
By
Jake Dubs .
12.09.08 //
Documentaries
- Serendipity
- The Ice Harvest
- America’s Sweethearts
- Pushing Tin
- Con Air
Let’s leave it at that.
I drive by this firm around once a week. Each time, I become increasingly perplexed about why these self-indulgent dickwads haven’t yet been featured as a latenight TV joke.
12 young hipsters. 4 cities. Look into intimate parts of each of their lives as they go from ardor to apathy, from rebellion to material in a cheeky take on the popular contemporary subculture, fighting off the mainstream as it rapidly becomes it.
Let the irony commence.
We all have some idea about where our poo goes when we’re done with it. But where does it really go? And what do they do with all that water it’s floating in on its way there?
One woman. One cat. One month left.
Imagine a documentary that took 77 years to shoot, chronicling the life of one man from birth through death. Find me a person on this earth who wouldn’t be intrigued to see that when it hits theatres.
//
The Secret Lives of Docu-Stars
By
Alex Aloise .
12.09.08 //
Documentaries
// The Secret Lives of Docu-Stars
By
Alex Aloise .
12.09.08 //
Documentaries
Last week I was perusing the interwebs when I stumbled upon a 5-part online documentary about a man named Gaahl. Gaahl is the lead singer of Gorgorath, the most hardcore Norwegian Black Metal band on the planet (Gorgorath:Norwegian Black Metal::Billy Squire:New Jersey Camaro Rock). I learned a lot about Gaahl by watching this film:
1) He lives on a massive stretch of land in the Norwegian mountains that is owned and inhabited exclusively by his family.
2) He went to school on said plot of land in the same building from the ages of 5-18 with only one other child.
3) He is a prolific, and very talented painter, yet refuses to let anyone purchase his work (all his canvases are stored in his attic).
4) Just this year, he was released from prison after serving a sentence for beating, kidnapping, and torturing a man. He cut his victim numerous times and collected the blood in a cup. The courts said that Gaahl either made his victim drink his own blood, or he drank it himself. Gaahl said he was just making sure it didn’t get on the carpet.
5) Also this year, he designed and launched a line of women’s dresses.
…..Huh????
The most evil man in Norway (as titled by the country’s top newspaper) is a dressmaker? He’ll gladly torture a man. He’ll express all his pain in hidden-away works of art. And he’ll make you look fabulous for your prom photos.
That final discovery blew my mind, and it made me wonder, what other kinds of strange and wonderful habits do some of my favorite documentary subjects partake in?
Timothy Treadwell – Grizzly Man
Timothy dedicated his life to the bears he loved so much. He spent years living with and learning about some of nature’s most noble creatures. He was a gentle soul who wanted to share his love for bears with the world. Ultimately, they ate him because they’re bears and he was just some wacky dude with a bad haircut. But before all that he was a door-to-door fragrance salesman! You see, the reason Timothy spent all that time playing with bears was so that he could bottle their scent and sell it to unsuspecting midwestern housewives. I’m honestly surprised that Grizzly Mist and Kodiak Essence didn’t take off any more than they actually did. Though, to be fair, Eurasian Brown Temptation did take home the bronze at the ’01 Twin Cities Best of the Bathtub Bottlers.
Bjorn Turoque – Air Guitar Nation
Determination is what best sums up this journeyman of the Air Guitar universe. As he travels from competition to competition, he never lets the fact that he loses more often than he wins deter him. But what people don’t know about the Ayatollah of AirNRolla is what he does in between contests. Bjorn Turoque’s secret is not a hobby so much as it is a disease. He’s an Air Cutter. After each losing effort, Bjorn lowers his head and retreats back to his Air Dressing Room inside his step-dad’s ’88 Tercel. There, he takes out an Air Razor and proceeds to Air Cut his Air Arms in between swigs from his Aristocrat bottle filled with Air Cristal. After he’s finished Air Bleeding, he curls up in bed next to that night’s Air Groupie.
Billy Mitchell – The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
Arguably, the biggest douchebag ever captured on film, Billy Mitchell was crowned the world champion of Donkey Kong about 20 years ago and has been living off of that “success” ever since. He’s currently the owner/operator of his parent’s restaurant in beautiful Hollywood, FL and still competes in classic video game tournaments because, why wouldn’t he? Although probably best recognized by his trademark Mullet and USA-inspired ties, some fans only know him by what lies below his belt. You see, Billy Mitchell is also the creator of his own line of video game-themed, personally molded sex toys. Yes kids, that nerd with all the sex appeal of a schoolbus fire is both the brains and the balls behind such legendary faux-phalluses as the “Donkey Dong”, the “Pac Her, Man”, and the “Space Invader.”
They should make a documentary about all that shit.
**Authors note: Aside from Gaahl, all other “hobbies” are completely fictitious. Please don’t sue me.
//
Lesson: Don’t talk to hobos
By
Ben Cheney .
12.08.08 //
Documentaries
// Lesson: Don’t talk to hobos
By
Ben Cheney .
12.08.08 //
Documentaries
“What if squirrels made documentaries?”
That was the question posed to me by the homeless man that lives on the curb outside my apartment. He’s a short fellow, dirty of course, with a harsh voice. He likes to talk, but never makes any sense. Alex named him Angelo.
He saw me when I came out my front door. We locked eyes as I walked down the steps. Before I could make my escape through the alley he caught up with me. Cornered, I had no choice but to remain calm. He’s a close talker, which is unfortunate, because his breath smells like the floor of a New York City subway station.
He leaned in, looked me straight in the eye and spoke very slowly. “I’m kind of like a squirrel. Maybe I could be in a squirrel documentary. All I do is find stuff. And then I hide it. I’m just like a squirrel.”
“I found this mustache today. It was on the ground over by the chicken restaurant. It makes me look like a sheriff.”
He held out his hand and showed me the fake mustache. It was brown and shaped like a parenthesis. He put it on.
I nodded and tried to smile. I was stuck and starting to panic.
“I could be the squirrel sheriff. They could write the story about me. Or if they needed another character I could play that too.”
I stared into his eyes. He was serious. He really wanted to be the squirrel sheriff in the squirrel documentary. What was he thinking? Was he thinking? I’m guessing no.
My heart started to kick in. I felt bad for him. The man was beyond insane. He really had no idea what he was talking about. Documentaries have no characters. They don’t have story lines. And most importantly, squirrels don’t make documentaries.
I was about to do something I had never done before. I was going to speak to Angelo. The man needed help. I hesitated at first, but I decided it was the right thing to do.
I opened my mouth to speak. Angelo threw up. In my open mouth.
Lesson learned.
Loading ...
