This Photograph

// Whamball

By Alex Aloise .
08.23.09 // This Photograph

View Comments / Aug 23.09 / This Photograph / by Alex Aloise

// The Game

By Elektrovideo .
08.21.09 // This Photograph

The Game from elektrovideo on Vimeo.

View Comments / Aug 21.09 / This Photograph / by Elektrovideo

// ‘Dis Photograph

By Sarah Pappalardo .
08.21.09 // This Photograph

This photograph was taken around 1910, as part of a commissioned project to show the world of the Russian Empire, in full color, right at the cusp of World War I. I always assumed that everyone lived in a black-and-white world between 1896 and 1944, and before that, only lived in a world that looked like an Impressionist painting. No, this wasn’t on the shoot of a period piece; the dude actually used a layered film and color process that allowed him to shoot in full color. The length of the exposure was longer than the average person could hold, which made for some blurry pictures– but this photograph manages to vividly portray real humans on a neat pile of logs that I assume is part of a large raft. These are logs that I would have otherwise taken for granted as useless, out-of-focus historical background on logging.

Some of his other photos give me an eerie feeling, like the old, dead people are going to reach out and grab me. As if the color can bring back the living dead or something. These photographic anomalies make me feel like I’m seeing something that I’m not allowed to see, like the past was trying to hide behind bland, monochromatic prints.

Russia is like another planet to me, and I feel like the aliens have sent images to earth with this photograph.

View Comments / Aug 21.09 / This Photograph / by Sarah Pappalardo

// Drape yourself in my wet blanket

By Tristan Smith .
08.20.09 // This Photograph

I am not going to write about “this photo” or “that photo” because, in a typically contrarian move, I decided a while back to stop taking photos.

Yes, it’s the sort of thing I may regret if I grow old, but right now, I don’t care.  I put them in the same category as the other chotchkies I don’t buy or hoard.  They’re the subscription cards in magazines.  The stickers on bananas.

Apologies and concessions to: those pursuing photography as an art, those it brings joy to, those recording the pre-dystopian world for their unborn nuclear babies, etc.

But I’m not backing down.  If I’m in some memorable place, I want to be using all my wherewithal to act, not record.  I want to be doing things that random strangers take photos of and look back at and say “wow, remember that guy that bought all those live cooking turtles in the open air market and set them free?”  Or something.

If I’m at a party, I want to party.

I want to be greedy.  I want to look at photos other people take of places I haven’t been yet.

I don’t want my pregnant pauses interrupted with a flashing battery indicator, dials, lenses, bullshit.

If it’s really tasty, I’ll remember it the way it was.

View Comments / Aug 20.09 / This Photograph / by Tristan Smith

// The Real Operation Shock ‘n’ Awe

By Bobby Nelson .
08.20.09 // This Photograph

Whoever the photographer is that suggested this shot of the Bush administration family photo is brilliant…and probably floating in the Anacostia River courtesy of the Secret Service.

Is this the sign of a President who is just that ignorant to what is “hep” in the way of gestures nowadays? Or is this administration-wide gesture of two-in-the-pink-one-in-the-stink a sign of a President who just doesn’t give a rat’s ass about what  he looks like? Depending on your political affiliation, one might lean toward the latter-most question. However, I choose to theorize the background and context of this photo in a moderate, if not altogether non-political, viewpoint.

The most logical explanation is that the photographer told everyone to make a “W” to gesture that differs from the already popular middle finger over ring finger “Westside” symbolism as well as the two thumbs touching one another at the tips with index fingers extended to truly show the “whateverrrrr” attitude of the 90’s. Subsequently, some wise-ass figured he or she could get away with suggesting the shocker depicted in the Bush administration family photo. But who would do such a thing? Who would set up the leader of the free world for such a blooper as this? My theory is it’s the fat guy with an ill-fitting and non-matching suit in the far right corner. The fact that he looks like a shady car salesman who just ate a shady cell phone salesman is a major tip-off. To make matters worse for this living embodiment of the brown sound, his right hand isn’t visible as it is likely in his pocket texting something similar to: “OMG, making bush n staff do the shocker. Ttly doing it now. Holy shit, just got away with it. Internship ttly worth it.”

We could close the case at that, but then what kind of article would this be? Likely a far shittier one than if I kept writing. This is the new age grassy knoll, and we’re getting to the bottom of this even if I have to kill more of your time reading this while you’re at work processing documents or documenting processes. Suspect number two is the rather rotund black girl standing to Bush’s right. That’s right, this woman could be the proverbial ground zero. After all, she’s trusted enough to stand right next to the President himself, why wouldn’t a photographer take her suggestion to heart? Not to mention that grin is a dead giveaway. Apparently this little trick of hers was the perfect kickoff to Gigglefest 2009 (which actually doesn’t sound like too bad a gathering) and she just couldn’t wait to burst.

Perhaps it wasn’t just one person. Maybe it was a photographic coup to make this nation’s 43rd President look a fool, a nearly impossible task. One has to wonder where Secret Service was on this one. Not only should this enforcement and protection agency safeguard the President’s bodily well-being from bullets, knives, pretzels, and the like, but keep the President from making social faux-pas such as this. However, it very well may be that Secret Service may be in on this coup as well. There’s no telling how deep this may run. Such a devious practice could bring down the esteem we hold in our political system. And if anyone unearths that infamous yet unseen picture of Millard Fillmore spreading his index and middle fingers and sticking his tongue between them, we just may give up on government altogether.

View Comments / Aug 20.09 / This Photograph / by Bobby Nelson

// It is what it is

By Charles Hodges .
08.20.09 // This Photograph

This photograph doesn’t have any higher meaning.  It’s not a microcosm of my personality, or America, or global culture.  It doesn’t relate back to an essay by Montaigne, or highlight platonic ideals in a capitalist society.  It’s just a picture.  Of me.  On a Tuesday morning.  In the bedroom.  Of my girlfriend’s parents.

View Comments / Aug 20.09 / This Photograph / by Charles Hodges

// The Frog Wedding – WWJATFWD?

By Joey Camire .
08.19.09 // This Photograph

I’ve never really been one for photographs. I’ve always wanted to be into them on an intellectual level.  There’s something alluring about an instance in time being held prisoner on a sheet of glossy 3×5 paper that fascinates me.  But, it’s never been anything more than a passing thought.  Truth be told, I don’t even own a camera.

I suppose in that regard I might be at the extreme.  I’ve enjoyed the photographs taken by others on the opposite end of the spectrum.  Piecing together drunken evenings. Witnessing events that might have otherwise been better off forgotten.  Partaking in a little old fashioned facebook stalking.  Ok, maybe a lot.

For me, though, the ephemeral nature of my memories has always been enough without the concreteness of photographs.  With one exception.  The photograph you see here is one of my most valued possessions.  It seems strange to me that something that does not, nor ever has, existed in the physical space could be so valuable.  But it is. To me anyhow. Allow me to explain.

Inevitably, you’ve heard the phrase, “a picture is worth a thousand words.”  It’s one of those strange colloquialisms that has only existed for a little over a century, but has been so pervasive it may exist for another thousand years.  (makes you wonder what neologisms of today might hang on for a century; holler, cougar, roflcopter?)

The argument could be made that any picture could spark some tangential conversations or nostalgic story that could easily take up 1,000 words.  But that idea misses the point.  I think the phrase was first uttered, at least in my head, about a photograph that captured the essence of something so well that even with ten thousand words you couldn’t possibly convey the clarity and meaning that a simple piece of paper had.  That’s what this photograph does for me.  It captures the essence of Joey.

As is, I’m a verbose person.  If you’ve been to the site before, I don’t need to explain that to you.  But if asked to fully capture whom I am as a person, I wouldn’t know where to begin.  This picture, however, captures what I don’t think I could. It has acted as a sort of compass for me as a person.    Life inevitably throws you curves, and they change you, but this picture  gives me something to weigh myself against.  It acts as a sort of “WWJD” bracelet without the heavy christian overtones.  WWJATFWD.  What Would Joey At The Frog Wedding Do?  A filter for seeing the world as the person I want to be.  Because I want to be like Joey at the Frog Wedding.

Maybe I’ve completely idealized myself.  Allowed my essence to be narrowed down to 3.4 megabytes of hard drive space.  Placed undue importance in a simple photograph.  I’m more than willing to entertain that possibility.  I’ve done stranger things. But look at that picture for a while.  Not too long, cause that might get creepy.  Just for a minute or two.  If we’ve never met, you probably know me better than you think. Know Whether you like me. Or not. Whether we could be friends. Or not. Whether you would hire me. Or not. Whether I’m the type of person you’d like to be like. Or not. Do you have me figured out yet? Or not?

My 561 words, about a picture that says a whole lot more than 1,000.

View Comments / Aug 19.09 / This Photograph / by Joey Camire

// This photograph is of my friend Al. He loves snacks.

By Todd Lamb .
08.18.09 // This Photograph

View Comments / Aug 18.09 / This Photograph / by Todd Lamb

// Everything looks better as a Polaroid.

By Ben Cheney .
08.18.09 // This Photograph

It’s a serious talent to make a 4×6 piece of photography interesting.  According to a BHC study, 80% of photographs are uninteresting to 95% of people who live in 90% of the lower 48.  There are several explanations for this, most of which you should look at with a weary eye.  The Native Americans will tell you one thing, baristas will tell you another, and carnies will tell you yet another.  None of which are true.  There is only one truth, that which is about to be expelled from my finger tips.

The current make up of photographs can be understood by the graph to the right.

There are a handful of professional photographers making beautiful photographs; the kind you look at and say, “This photograph reminds me of the time I fell in the pond at grandma’s house in the fourth grade and accidentally swallowed a small-to-medium sized fish that came out in my poo three days later.  I can smell it.”

Then there are three fistfuls of amateur photographers who think they are professional, but aren’t because they aren’t that good.  They took one photography course in high school and love photographing autumn days in black and white which makes no sense because the point of taking photographs in autumn is to capture the color of the leaves in the trees.  These photographers bring the professionals down and minimize their slice of the pie.

Next we have the largest group — the serial shooters.  They go to the beach or to parties or to beach parties with their Nikon CoolPix camera that they bought because Ashton is totally cute or their Sony Cybershot camera they bought because Sony used to make a sweet Walkman back in the day and they trust their quality.  They shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot like an overeager eight year old with a brand new cap gun that their mom bought them from the Pirates of the Caribbean shop at Disney World.  341 of their 465 photographs are only interesting to them because they are in them.  123 of their 465 photographs are either accidental pictures of carpets or butts or shoulders, random photographs taken by strangers, or include no one that they know.  These 123 photographs are useless and will never make it onto Facebook.  And one in 465 photographs is this photograph, the one worth keeping.  It will most likely be thrown in with the 123 photographs that are deemed useless.

And then we have the Polaroids, all of which are this photograph.  Polaroids are gold.  Everything looks better as a Polaroid.  No matter what the subject.  No matter what the setting.  No matter what the time period.  Polaroids make everything interesting.

Proof:

*I have no photographic authority and probably shouldn’t be making any claims pertaining to photography.  Believe the baristas.

View Comments / Aug 18.09 / This Photograph / by Ben Cheney

// This Photograph, Narrated

By Jake Dubs .
08.17.09 // This Photograph

18 seconds later, Oscar turned, smiled, and promptly devoured Herman and Betty.

As much as he hated these types of weekly shenanigans, James knew his father would someday leave him the trust fund.

The Chronicles of Narnia Pt. VI: The Lion, The Lamb and The Pansy

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy sailor.

The hunter had fucked up, and he knew it. The only thing left to do now was stuff all three.

“What the fuck are ewe looking at, motherfucker?” Bradley said, with a smirk. “Ha, I’m just joshin’ ya. Seeing if you caught the pun. Of course you did. ‘Cause you’re a smart guy. Aren’t you, bitch. Yeah. That’s what I thought. Face.”

Art: sometimes shit’s just weird.

It was when the photographer asked little Billy to remove his shirt and ‘stroke the lamb’ that his mother had finally heard enough.

After a series of failed sheepdog replacements, Farmer John and his son, Glen, decided to go with something a little more hardcore. It was a well-documented failure.

Alan was all smiles then, sure. But later that day, when his stepfather forced him to butcher and cook that lamb, it was all tears.

Jamie could handle working with the lion. It was the sheep that freaked him out.

John Stamos, circa 1971, on shrooms

*please feel free to post your own

View Comments / Aug 17.09 / This Photograph / by Jake Dubs