Thursday

Thursday

If you stop and ask a flower or a dog about how their Thursday is going, they will almost certainly look at you quizzically and respond “What is a Thursday?” And that makes sense, as humans are the only ones that know about days of the week. To the rest of the planet, there is no difference between a Monday and a Sunday. To the foxes, there is no day of worship. To the turtles, there is no painful return to work. While seasons are a thing based in the reality of zeniths and axes, days with names are a product of humanity’s imperialism. We use them to schedule our lives, check off boxes and organize a lifetime of events into seven categories.

But I am still waiting on evidence that it’s necessary.

Blooms don’t look brighter on one of the seven.

Birds don’t sing sweeter.

I am not sure Day needs any letters before it.

Judge us... We like it!

Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)

View Comments / Jan 25.09 / Thursday / by Tristan Smith

// Thursday: An Ode

By Charles Hodges .
01.24.09 // Thursday

Friday on the horizon, now that Wednesday’s gone,
Thursday was the day that the show Sienfeld came on.

Thursday, oh Thursday, I loved you so much more,
When I was a little child, you weren’t such a teasing whore.

Now, my job is meaningless – Thursday, hurry up!
Your second hands are slow pouring into my timesheet cup.

It’s always on a Thursday, when I get to thinking.
I can’t wait to go home, get naked and start drinking.

Sitting there, in my robe, with Sportscenter on,
I go and order Chinese food from a place called Mi Kong Won.

But then I always get there, sit down on my couch,
And remember that I forgot to take the recycling out.

Why do we recycle? Is it just a myth?
Now, everything is Green, even my own shit.

Eating apples, eating pears – fiber, fiber, stop!
My stomach is holding up the bank and I’m the only cop.

But Thursday, you have never judged me by my stomach issues.
In fact, you’ve never spoken, you’ve only offered tissues.

You know the sorrow that I feel, the pain the alarm clock brings.
You know how much I hate the way Mariah Carey sings.

Memories of Thursday – thrown out to the wind.
I sit and wait and watch for my broken bones to mend.

Friday is so close in reach, so near to thy bare hand.
Weekend come down on us, stretch out upon the land.

Judge us... We like it!

Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

View Comments / Jan 24.09 / Thursday / by Charles Hodges

// Thursdays Deserve Themes

By Joey Camire .
01.23.09 // Thursday

Growing up, Thursdays had the same appeal that they do as an adult. It was almost the weekend so there was a lot to look forward to. It was time to start asking parents for sleepovers. Friday was going to be pizza day and you could already taste the re-heated cheese. And more exciting than anything the next day TGIF was on ABC! Full House, Family Matters, Step By Step, Hanging With Mr. Cooper, Dinosaurs and the good years of Boy Meets World. Friday was great as a kid, we already knew that, but there was another reasons to look forward to Thursday…Thursday was Opposite Day!

Things would always start off regular. You walk to the bus stop and go about things as usual. Climb on the bus and find a seat. That’s when it started. Someone would initiate it and then the rest of your day was a complete whirlwind of confusion, apprehension and unease. It was incredible. Did Jason really want to play kick ball or did he not want to on opposite day? Did Allison really like you more than friends or did she really think you smelled funny? It was an absolute elementary school mind fuck.

Once you grow up, and by grow up I mean get to middle school, you don’t get those kinds of themed days anymore. Oh of course there is the occasional “CRAZY HAT DAY” or “School Spirit Day” but nothing that pushed you to the limits of your sanity in the way Opposite Day did when you were young.

Why?

Who said you have to give up mind games just because you are a “grown ass” person? I’m proposing we start Themed Thursdays. A day where you and a group of people decide on a theme and stick with it the whole day. I’ve come up with a starter list of possible options to get things going. Some are more physically than mentally challenging to bring a little variety to the themes. Either way the goal is to push yourself to the limits of what you consider normal adult behavior… every Thursday. Let’s be honest, your week could use a little excitement. Here is the list.

Accent Day- Pretty straight forward, you pick an accent and commit to it for the entire day. That means keeping with it even when you are talking to people who aren’t playing the game. You can explain it to them, but in that full blown fresh off the boat type of way. Speaking in a Kazakhstani accent is not outlawed, but understand no one will like you afterward.

Lava Day- This could be an office style game. When everyone gets to the office you bring back “Don’t Step In The Lava”. That means no one can step on the floor for the whole day. Push yourself around in your computer chair, climb on stuff, whatever. If you decide to quit, well then you can just burn in the magma.

Sing-Along Day- Everything you have to say must be sung. Yes, rapping counts… but only if it rhymes.

Echo Day- You have to say the last word the person you are talking to just said before you can start speaking.

Backward Day- walk around everywhere backwards.

Eye Patch Day- This one is by far my favorite. You have to wear an eye patch for the entire day. It might seem easy at first but depth perception is a pretty sweet evolutionary trait… you’ll miss it.

As you can tell this isn’t rocket science. It’s about picking a simple task and sticking with it. These are just a few examples, but there are really endless possibilities to Themed Thursdays. The one thing that probably has to happen so that people don’t totally back out is instituting some kind of incentive or punishment. Maybe everyone puts in five bucks at the beginning and whoever makes it to the end splits the money of those who backed out. Maybe you just get a paddle and spank the person who quits. I don’t know. I don’t know how committed you are. Either way, the end goal is just to push yourself to the limit for fun and a story. To see if you can handle it. Themed Thursday is kind of like Fear Factor but way better because that ass clown Joe Rogan isn’t around.

All this being said, I think all of the guys from Blommit need to try to do a Themed Thursday competition of sorts next week. E-Mail us suggestions about what you think we should do at Blommitblog@gmail.com. Remember it’s supposed to be simple and hard not gross. If evreyone agrees we’ll document it and post it on the website.

Judge us... We like it!

Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

View Comments / Jan 23.09 / Thursday / by Joey Camire

// Thursdays of Wine and Roses

By Alex Aloise .
01.22.09 // Thursday

Judge us... We like it!

Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

View Comments / Jan 22.09 / Thursday / by Alex Aloise

// Thursday’s Salivation

By Jake Dubs .
01.21.09 // Thursday

It took me many years to realize this, and God knows you may disagree, but the anticipation of something good will always, always be better than the actual thing itself.

The mind has a way of optimistically and unrealistically expecting upcoming times and events to be far greater than what you or I know they’ll actually be like. The fun, it seems, is in thinking about how great these times and events are going to be. It’s in the anticipation itself.

Expecting something to be great—looking forward to it, getting excited about it, envisioning how amazing it will be when it happens—these are all things that make life worthwhile. Vacations, roadtrips, holidays, graduations, new cities, new places, new jobs, new people; none of it is ever as good as you think it’ll be. And that’s okay.

It goes for weeks as well.

For the same reason I believe Sunday is the worst day of the seven—the thought of the coming workweek is enough to, ironically, cast a shade of depression over one of our only two days of freedom—Thursday is in fact, the best. It signals the anticipation of a coming weekend and all that it brings, which actually makes it better than the weekend itself.

In many ways, it’s a pure metaphor for life’s optimism. A particular weekend could turn out to be awful. But you’d better believe that on the Thursday night before, we’re looking forward to the Friday that kicks it off. And that anticipation feels pretty damn good.

Thursday feels pretty damn good.

Because real life isn’t spent exceeding expectations. It’s spent expecting to.

Judge us... We like it!

Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

View Comments / Jan 21.09 / Thursday / by Jake Dubs

// Terry is missing 85.7% of his life!

By Ben Cheney .
01.20.09 // Thursday

I watched a Barbara Walters Special about a guy out in Kansas named Terry who can only stay awake on Thursdays. Apparently he just sleeps the rest of the week. It’s the weirdest thing, and sad as a devil to boot. He is missing 85.7% of his life because he can’t stay awake! This is the kind of guy who needs to be on Extreme Makeover Home Edition!

Well, while I was watching Barbara, I thought of a brilliant idea that could help Terry. I was thinking I could partner with Ty Pennington to build Terry a house that travels around the world on a predetermined path at a preset speed so that no matter where Terry is, he is always living in Thursday. This way he could always be awake!

I was super excited about helping Terry and the possibility of meeting Ty. I hopped on the Internet and spent the rest of the night doing research. After about 6 hours I came to the undeniable conclusion that this would not be a possibility without about a billion dollars.

I don’t have a billion dollars. I wish I did, so I could help Terry and meet Ty, but I don’t. So I made Terry this calendar instead.