First dates are one of those things, like taxes, that are super simple but still scare the shit out of people.  It’s understandable though, people are really putting themselves out there on a first date.  On a first date you are essentially putting yourself up for review, but not just for anything, you are going up for review on whether or not your are worthy enough to have sex with.  That’s all a first date is, you are allowing someone to show whether or not they are good enough to get your goodies!  Even if you don’t sleep with them right away, if you do go out with them again, you are letting them know you are willing to entertain the idea of eventually sleeping with them. However, there is no need to fear first dates, there is a simple perspective to first dates that will bring you success every time.

First Dates are governed by the same simple laws as physics.

Every first date is going to be a new equation and you just need to figure out the variables.  Think of the date as an object that you are trying to move towards a destination. Think of that destination as getting laid, if you are in to that, maybe you just like hugging and pet names, that works too.  Either way I’m not going to judge, whether you are looking for love, lust, or just someone to call “sugar face love butt”, this approach will work.  All you have to do is keep moving the object in the right direction.

Law I – INERTIA “An object in motion stays in motion”
If you can start a date off right, theoretically you could do nothing for the rest of the date and it may eventually result in coitus.  As long as you push things in the right direction and don’t screw things up in any way, inertia may eventually get you to where you need to go.  Obviously if you start strong, you can’t act like Jauquin Phoenix on Letterman and expect things to work out.  This brings us to our next law…

Law II – MOMENTUM “The change of momentum of a body is proportional to the impulse impressed on the body”
Momentum is all about the strength and direction at which you push your date.  There will be things that you do that will speed your progress towards sexy time, and things that will slow your progress.  Every first date is going to have momentum, the question is going to be whether or not you are moving towards or away from your goal.  Inevitably, unless you are an underwear model or Brad Pitt, you are going to make a wrong move.  If you start things off in the right direction, as long as you don’t neck punch your date, a fuck up should only slow things down.  If you do neck punch your date, well at least you’ll have a story.

Law III – RECIPROCAL ACTIONS “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”
Dating has got to be one of the most coy and interesting mating dances there are.  Many birds have their own speciosyncratic mating interactions, but they pale in comparison to the strange complexities of human dating.  You push, they’ll pull. If you chase they will retreat.  Retreat and they will chase.  It’s not that people don’t want you to be doing what you are doing, it’s that on a first date you can’t be as direct as you might want to be.  People result to opposite behaviors to test each other.  How bad do you want me?  How hard are you willing to work for it?  It’s like every date is on opposite day.  There is a reason why it’s called the dating GAME, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you will find success.

This might come across as cold, but I like to think of it as enlightened realism.  I’m not trying to say that you should be manipulating people, but if you want something you should understand how it works.  While you may never be able to understand the opposite sex, because they are straight up OUT OF THEIR MIND (both sexes), you can understand dating.  Once you get to the point where you are in a ‘relationship’ you are pretty much on your own.  Anyone who tells you they know how to make relationships work is just trying to get you to buy something.