Do-It-Yourself
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The Most Useful Section of the Bookstore
By
Alex Aloise .
10.25.09 //
Do-It-Yourself
// The Most Useful Section of the Bookstore
By
Alex Aloise .
10.25.09 //
Do-It-Yourself
This afternoon I took a trip to Barnes & Noble. When I wasn’t busy trying to look smart by browsing through the $8 editions of The Art of War and Dante’s Inferno, I wandered over to the DIY section. The selection was plentiful. The possibilities of things I could do without the aide of another, endless. I could crochet, weld, screenwrite, or even yodel. Still, there were some other Do-It-Yourself books that just left me scratching my head.
Why would anyone want to do some of these things? Let alone by themselves?
A Home of Your Own
I’m pretty sure if you’re going to build your own house you’ll need a bit more training and practice than you’d get out of an $11 paperback.
MMA the Single Way
Ultimate fighting yourself kind of defeats the whole purpose of ultimate fighting.
What Would Bob Barker Do?
I guess that really is the question when you can’t afford the vet. Forward by Rod Roddy.
The Blacksmith’s Bible
How to turn your two-car garage into an anvil pounding house of fire, iron, and the plague.
No Wire Hangers…Ever!
Joan Crawford meets at-home abortions.
The Sweet Science of Personal Piercing
I violently wince away from nose flicks. I’m not gonna be the guy poking a hole into myself any time soon. I’ll leave that to this guy.
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I Will Be Whoever It Takes To Get This Chick’s Number
By
Alex Aloise .
03.06.09 //
Faux
// I Will Be Whoever It Takes To Get This Chick’s Number
By
Alex Aloise .
03.06.09 //
Faux
Hey what’s up? I’m Connor…Becca? Right on. Good to meet you, Becca. So what do you do?…Oh that’s awesome. I shop there all the time. I actually got these jeans there last week…Seriously? Is that a new thing? I swear I got these jeans at that store…Well there was a men’s section when I went there. Weird…What do I do? I mean, you know. A little bit of everything really, haha…No, no. I do have a job. It’s just my job job, you know what I mean?…It’s just a way to pay the bills. My real job is my music…Well I used to be in a band, and we were pretty close to getting signed, but I just got really fed up with the corporate BS of the industry, you know? So I left to focus on my solo stuff…It’s pretty deep. Really personal. Very experimental. Kinda like an Iron & Wine sound fused with, like, Chamillionaire…Oh yeah. It’s totally my passion…How can you not listen to music?…Well, yeah, I understand. I sorta stopped listening to a lot of music too. Too many memories about the band. Plus now I can focus on my writing…I’ve got a few short stories finished, and I’m working on my next screenplay right now…It’s awesome. It’s going to be so good once it’s done. It’s An Affair To Remember meets Donnie Darko meets Another Stakeout…Really?…I don’t have much time to get to the movies these days either. That’s really just a way for me to pass the time when I’m not training…MMA. I’ve got my first fight next month…Yeah, Coach Shamrock says I’m one of the better students he’s had…Oh your brother fought? What’s his record?…Wow. I’m so sorry to hear that. Well at least he’s blinking now. That’s a good sign…I don’t know what time it is, sorry. I guess I left my phone in the car. I swear these new S-Classes have waaay too many compartments…Oh I agree…Yeah, you’re right…Greenhouse gasses…Well it’s my buddy’s car. I’m DD tonight…No, that was a virgin shot…I would have biked here tonight but I messed up my back tire this morning when I was leading my group of inner-city kids up a mountain pass. It was really beautiful…Orlando does too have beautiful mountain passes…Well it’s been awesome talking to you Becca. Can I call you sometime?…Cool cool. Let me write this down…Ok 8…uh huh 6-7…5 got it…3-0 yup…9. Sweet. I’ll call you soon.
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