The Man

// Barbara, The Woman.

By Sarah Pappalardo .
12.17.09 // The Man

Barbara, the Woman from sarah pappalardo on Vimeo.

View Comments / Dec 17.09 / The Man / by Sarah Pappalardo

// Diary Of A Maverick

By Joey Camire .
06.25.09 // Starting Over

12/7/08

Well, Diary, it’s been a month now, and a whole lot has changed.  My life has relaxed quite a bit, at least as compared to the year leading up to the election.  Oh sure, everyone is so supportive, “You’ll be able to focus on the things you love!”  they say.  Well, my friends, you can’t spend every waking hour of your life focused on prune juice and Vietnamese hookers.  Trust me, I’ve tried.  It leads to regular bowel movements and regular shots of penicillin, and at my age regularity really isn’t that important.  My friend, I’d rather shit my pants in public just to get back on C-Span.  Regularity doesn’t make headlines. Look at Sarah Palin. There isn’t a regular bone in her maverick body… Although, there was once, but that was during the prune obsession and I’d rather not discuss it. She tried to give me an “Alaskan Pipeline” look it up… I don’t know what they are doing up there in the great white north, but I can tell you if I had been elected president I would have sold that thing back. Gross. That’s all.

Well, anyway, I figure it’s time to start over again.  You know.  Stick a spur in my maverick and make some slightly non-conformist decisions. I don’t want to go too far fringe. All I need is Sean Hanity poking around with softball questions.  It’s like being interviewed by a middle school newspaper reporter. For that reason, I’ve started taking yoga classes.  Coincidentally, my friend, this is why I had to quit the prunes.  There is a lot of stretching in those classes.  But, the class is taught by a cute little Korean girl.  Namaste.  I’ll tell you what diary, that would have been the war to be in, forget ‘Nam, send me to Seoul.

With my new found energy from the the yoga I’ve also started experimenting in new vocations.  Now listen, my friend, I’ve never been the most eloquent orator, but where does that get you?  Other than the white house?  Nowhere.  So I’ve decided to use my words for good.  I’ve started writing a series of children’s books called “Johnny The Maverick”.  They’re, of course, loosely based off of different mavericky escapades of my life.  It can give that working man something to read with his boy, over a cold Schlitz, something that they can both aspire to.  I’ve decided to publish them under a pseudonym, after much thought, I’ve settled on “Reynold the Writer.”  Of course all good books need to be illustrated so I’ve enlisted the help of “Arty the Artist.”  Before you know it, this country is going to be brimming with Mavericks, just you wait.

My friend, I know this probably all sounds so crazy, but I know what I’m doing.  You don’t get the name Maverick without taking some chances.  Trust me, I’ve eaten at Hardee’s and devoured the Monster Thick Burger.  Not even the prunes could make regular that cube of cow flesh, but that’s where my little Cambodian nurse comes in.  My friend, she filmed the procedure and titled it “Enema Of The State.”  But I digress.

Next week I’m going to try sushi. If you’re starting over, what better place than your diet?  Plus I hear they have some little Japanese waitresses… Sake it to me my friend.

Your Friend,
Johnny Mav

View Comments / Jun 25.09 / Starting Over / by Joey Camire

// At The Ballet

By Tristan Smith .
12.31.08 // Seven Deadly Sins

In the red half-light, her skin glows a deep copper.  A Britain abroad, she pulses and pirouettes to music that you don’t bother hearing.  When it stops, you lay an American dollar on the stage in front of her.  She smiles and accepts.    The local currency isn’t what it used to be.

***

You are part of a procession up carpeted stairs: man, woman, man, woman.  Sliding plastic is a key, and now it’s just the two of you in a perfectly dark corner.  Her leg is on your thigh.  Her hand is on your arm.

“You’re so strong. Such nice muscles.  Most of them that come in here, they’re just little small guys.”  No movie ever gets this part right.

***

Her body is the ocean on a calm day, smoothness leading to great full swells.  A miracle of surgery and modern nutrition.  All that is wrong and right about the West, now removing a last scrap of sheer black.

Now a centimeter away from you.  Now less.  Your face brushes against her soft breasts.  You are Christ.  She is Mary Magdalene.

***

The song changes.  Smiles.  “What do you want to do, now?” she coos.  You believe her.  But you don’t want to, and so you mutter about tomorrow, a goodbye, and then bound down the stairs out into a cold night.

View Comments / Dec 31.08 / Seven Deadly Sins / by Tristan Smith

// The Future is Like a Woman

By Alex Aloise .
11.15.08 // The Future

She is unpredictable.
She is exciting.
She leaves you breathless.
She breaks your heart.
Despite all of your best laid plans,
She always has a plan of her own.

The relationship starts when you’re young.
You grow up completely intrigued by her.
You want to know everything about her.
But at the same time you want nothing to do with her.
She scares you.
She might have cooties.

As you enter adolescence,
She starts to take up more of your thoughts.
You start to notice her more.
But the apprehensions still linger.
Your parents start asking about her.
But she’s the last thing you want to talk about.

As you get older,
You long for her.
You cannot wait to feel her full embrace.
You dream of what your life with her will be like.
She is everything you could ever want,
She is limitless.

Over time your relationship matures.
You grow complacent,
And contemplative.
Did things go according to your plan?
Did everything work the way you and she said they would?
Did you and she do all you wanted to do?

Was this all how it was supposed to go?
Or was it the way she planned all along?
She is complex.
She is comforting.
She is constant.
She is all there is.

View Comments / Nov 15.08 / The Future / by Alex Aloise